Hey did you see that sunrise? Not every day you get to see something like that!
Now that we’re four days into the New Year, I’m following through on my promise to myself to exercise my body once again, like I did in the summer and fall. I stopped for the holidays, it was a gift to myself, the gift of saying “fuck that shit.” The gift of growing some flab, but mostly the “fuck that shit” thing, that’s the satisfying part.
Now I’ll be on a combined program of diet and exercise to achieve some sort of physical improvement. Mostly what I’m looking for is slightly bigger arms to prop myself up a little longer. And I want to get a really big neck so I’m working my neck daily to get it thicker and stronger. Better. I want to get to where I’m faster, turning my head faster when I hear loud noises. After six months, I’ll be the first one looking at whatever we just heard, miliseconds before you finally get your head turned around. Plus, I like having the confidence that my head is being supported by the absolute strongest base that I can give it. I only have one head and one big, thick fucking neck to hold it.
The gym I go to is disgusting, filled with numerous undesirable people, old people, poor people. I go there because it’s convenient and inexpensive and I’m not paying a bunch of money to have a fancy carpeted locker room floor to stand on with a bunch of buff queers. That’s Manhattan, you’ll find yourself in a situation like that, a situation where spending time on this carpet is costing you like $200-$300 a month. And then you’re angry, you’re fucking pissed.
Meanwhile, I’m on the dank brown tile of the rec. center with Old Man Grayflab and his broke-ass friends, cramming my gear into a tight yellow locker and trying to keep my feet dry. All these old bastards are playing ping pong and shooting on pool with the a bent cue on a ripped table, I’m using my thick ass neck to watch the bouncing ball.
I’m going to eat more bacon this year, I’ve already made that vow. I had bacon-wrapped asparagus and bacon-wrapped okra already since the 1st, so you know I’m not playing. More fried chicken too, I had wings last night while I watched the Jets demolish the fucking Bengals. This is what life is intended to be by God and tonight is my poker night.
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